{Marriage}

Four months ago I married my best friend. Four months ago Taylor and I became a unit & began navigating this world together. It has been the most beautiful and challenging four months ever. When I think back to November 8th, I feel so many different emotions. 

FYI-- Our wedding day was not the best day of my life… 

I was really sick.

I couldn't talk. 

I didn't sleep much the night before & I was kind of miserable. 

It was cold.

I hate PDA. 

My eyelashes didn't feel secure. 

Thing didn't go as planned. 

People from far away had to leave right after dinner and I didn't get to booty pop with them. 

Some people didn't even show up. 

I think at times, the whole day was kind of a mess. 

How crazy do I seem?

How ungrateful?

But it WAS a mess.

My wedding was a mess. 

It was a beautiful mess. 

It was a beautiful mess filled with highs and lows. 

Expectations that weren't met and surprises that blew the expectations out of the water. 

It was a pretty cool picture of what life actually looks like. 

We spent all of this time and energy preparing and planning. There were people who let us down, and people who went above and beyond.  A few months before, a family friend passed away and I didn't know how to keep moving. 

There were many meltdowns. There were many joys.

& in all of it, God remained good. 

He remained in control. 

That's life. It's beautiful & it's an absolute mess. 

As I reflect on the last four months & my life with Teeds, I can say with confidence that our wedding was not the best day ever. 

I don't think that best day or best life ever actually exists.

There's no such thing as your "best life now" (sorry Joel)

Truthfully, I'll take the messy days over the lies of the best days.

The mess means that God is working... the story isn't finished. 

Today, I am thanking God for my messy life and the messy wedding that brought Teeds and I closer than ever before. 

xo, Lynn Raye

Brian James

Yesterday we buried someone so important.

Someone that I loved.

My soul brother.

My friend.

When I think back to all of my memories as a child, Brian is there. 

Born six months before me, Brian did everything first. 

He crossed the street, rode a bike, and made friends with everyone while I sat by and waited for his "ok". 

To this day I can hear him, "Lynnie, COME ON! Just cross the street!" 

& When I wouldn't cross, he'd just put me and my dollies on his big wheeler and take me himself. When I moved back to Delaware for High School, Brian forced all of his friends to hang out with me. 

He was the ultimate pal.

Always up for an adventure...

He wasn't scared of anything. 

Everything he did, he did full throttle.

He got married young and laughed when people tried to tell him otherwise. 

He joined the AirForce and traveled to places I've never even heard of. 

He picked on his sisters and I, but defended us to the end. 

When Bree came into the world, he was smitten immediately. 

His mom was his BFF even when it wasn't cool. 

His family was his first priority & his cousins were his favorite people.

He got in touch with his sister, and went on and on about how amazing she was.

He loved everyone. 

He stood up for the little guy.

He didn't fit into any molds or standards that people try to make for us.

He was an artist, poet, athlete, musician, father, brother, friend, and airman all wrapped up into one dude. 

Losing him hurts. 

& I am sad.

In 2005 I wrote a blog post about his birthday party & it ended like this:

"so anyway we get out (of the movie) around 1130
and its snowing
so we skip to the car
arm in arm like bestfriends are supposed too.

then we're
jamming to pink floyd,
thinking about the past...
16 years and hes still my best friend.

from riding on his big wheeler
to riding shot gun in his moms van,
we have come a long way"

Losing him hurts.

& I am sad.

There will be a day when we'll be arm-in-arm,

 skipping around singing praises to God.

Eternity with Christ, and he'll still be my best friend. 

I can't wait.

In the meantime, Brian would want me to live full throttle. 

He'd want me to be the ultimate pal.

He'd want me to be up for every adventure.

He'd want me to be brave.

& I will. 

You are the God of peace.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"
John 14:27
This life gets crazy.
Today, I am thanking God for His peace.


xo, Lynn Raye


The Great Outdoors

Two weeks ago, Teeds & I spent an entire day in the woods.
We packed sandwiches for lunch
and cooked our dinner over a fire.
We spent the hours in between kayaking and hiking. There were a lot of other people enjoying the park, but there were moments where the entire space felt like ours. Someday, we'll be able to spend a whole weekend in the woods. But right now, we will take what we can get. Planning a wedding is hard & living three hours away from each other ain't no walk in the park either.
We try to make the most of our short weekends.

xo, Lynn Raye

AVT BAND Weekend.

Last weekend I had the privilege of traveling to Lake Gaston to sing with some of my favorite people We celebrated America and honored veterans! The weekend was so fun that it felt like three minutes instead of three days. I even got to spend a few hours with my MOH on the way to our hotel. Pit stops for lunch with your bff are the best!

After hours of rehearsal on Friday, my voice was shot. 

I sort of came to terms with the fact that I'd probably really suck on Saturday, but for the most part my voice came through. 

We couldn't have asked for better weather & the veterans that we honored were so sweet. The whole trip was worth the lack of sleep and the ten hours of traffic we sat through on the way back. 

My trip highlights:

- lunch with Sabs

- completely butchering The Beatles with Mark. Whoops.

- belting Whitney Houston across the lake

- making a new pal named Logan

- Taylor being a cool roadie

- a certain band member trying to be slick and losing his speedo (gross)

- the never ending firework show

- snuggling with Lynn on the pontoon boat while fearing for my life

- swimming for 30 minutes

It's been full week since i've been back and I am STILL trying to recover.

xo, Lynn Raye

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Hurt.

There was a shooting (again) in the neighborhood that I work in.
Shootings aren't foreign for this little neighborhood, but whenever they happen, I feel them with my entire soul.
You see, children in this neighborhood SEE this stuff daily.
This is the lifestyle that they see as normal.

Violence is just second nature.
There are battles being fought in these streets every day.
Sometimes they are fought with hands,
other times, with weapons.
I am hurting for this neighborhood.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

I serve a God who has overcome all of this.
He has a plan for this neighborhood
& I trust Him in my hurting.

Please join me in praying for peace.

xo, Lynn Raye