--> Is this really for me? <--

When you take me to an amusement park, you can always count on me to hold your bags. I'll let you have all the fun soaring through the air... I'll stay on the ground. I'll stay where it's safe. 

Rollercoasters are NOT for me.

I hate the ups & downs. I hate the twists & turns. & I hate not knowing what's to come. 

Choosing to become a foster parent is like choosing to spend the rest of your life on a rollercoaster. 

Taylor & I received our foster parent certification in the mail a few weeks ago.

We have given our "bags" to God, strapped ourselves into the seats, & now we are raising our hands in anticipation. 

On Tuesday we got the call that we have been waiting for.

When I got off of the phone with the caseworker, I did a full blown happy jig around my office.

I was squealing like a little girl & bashing my head around.

When I told Taylor about our potential placement, he insisted we head straight to the store to get some special treats for our potential kids. I told all of our close friends & they got all excited too--- joining us on this ride. 

There we all were... at the top of the rollercoaster. We were at the highest peak & we couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. 

& then we dropped. 

I spoke with the caseworker today and the kids we have longed for aren't coming.

They might come in the future.

They might come and stay for a week.

They might come and stay for a while.

They might not come here at all. 

This is why I always remain on the ground cuddled close what's known. Because the anticipation and and that fall leaves my stomach feeling sick... & I don't like that feeling. 

 I am heartbroken & I feel foolish for getting on this ride in the first place. I have lost sleep over these children, I have cried for these children, and I have prayed fervently on their behalf. 

This rollercoaster is not for me. 

Foster care is not for me. 

In Pennsylvania alone, there are over 15,000 children currently in the foster care system. 

These children are ripped from their homes & are forced to journey on a rollercoaster they did not choose to get on. 

My heart is broken and I am uncomfortable, but if a child is not here, it means that they are safe where they are or they are going some place better. This rollercoaster ride is not about me. 

Foster care is not for me. 

So I will buckle my seatbelt and venture up the steep hill again & again.

I will dance with all my might when we reach the top & I will cry like a baby if we end up falling because these children are worth it. 

There will be ups & downs-- twists & turns-- & we won't know what's to come 

But we have been called to this rollercoaster 

by a God who loves these children much more than we do. 

Foster care is not for me.

Rollercoasters are not for me.

We are on this journey for them. 

xo, Lynn Raye 

-- Exploring PA -- Wapwallopen Peach Fest

This Saturday, I had a full tank of gas & an urge to explore. 

I contacted two of my close friends & had them meet at my place for an adventure. 

We drove to the Wapwallopen Peach Festival. 

(donut peaches)

It was 90 degrees & we got there when all the food was gone, but it was still so much fun.
The best part of the fest was the vendors! There were 50 vendors selling crafts and natural beauty supplies. I bought a healing spray, a natural lip balm, & handmade soap. I love visiting outdoor festivals & supporting local farms/crafters! I had a blast with my friends as we bit into fresh peaches and took goofy selfies.

After our peach adventure, we made our way to Bloomsburg to visit our friend Tristan & hit up the Salvation Army on Main Street. We enjoyed amazing coffee at The Fog & Flame and had the best conversations over burritos. Sometimes NEPA surprises me… This weekend was a good surprise.

xo, Lynn Raye

--when your little girl gets married & you ugly cry--

I have always felt super protective of Susan. Since the beginning of our friendship, I have always taken on the mother role when it comes to her. Offering up my two cents into her life and telling her what to do is my favorite. She has been my friend for over ten years & when she got married last week… I cried like a baby. Susan & Tom got married at Pomme in Radnor, PA. The venue was lovely, but Susan stole the show. I teared up as she walked down the aisle. I began to sniffle as her parents hugged her so tight she couldn't breathe. But when she stood before Tom with the biggest smile i've ever seen… I full on ugly cried. My little girl all grown up & so happy. It was a beautiful day for a beautiful couple to get married. I feel so blessed that I was able to share in Susan & Tom's special day.

xo, Lynn Raye

New Community.

I am moving.

We are moving.

I am losing community.

In four short months, I will be moving 2.5 hours away from the community that inspires me to love Jesus better. My church families and close circle of friends mean so so so much to me & i'd really like to figure out a way for all of them to move to WB with me this fall. I'm not sure that will happen but a lady can dream can't she?

I am a planner.

I plan everything. 

My outfits are pre-planned, my meals, my day... etc (I'm a little crazy)

When I began preparing my heart for this move, I was met with great anxiety & fear. 

How will we make friends?

What if no one likes me?

Where will we worship? 

We certainly can't find another church plant to love and grow in, can we? 

God must smile big when I bring my silly fears to Him.

Ladies & Gents, we haven't even moved and I am already feeling love from our future town.

About a month ago, Teeds and I visited a church plant in downtown WB.

The visit wasn't really random because I had been stalking them for about a month before the actual visit... (Like I said, a little crazy)

Even though I had been listening to their podcasts and fervently following them on Facebook, I was still so nervous to walk into the chapel for service that Sunday. 

After a bit of coaching from Teeds, we headed in. 

Almost as soon as we sat down, people came over to say hello. The greetings weren't just a "hi" and a "bye", these people wanted to know our names and stories. So there we were, the service hadn't even started and I was totally smitten. As the worship team led one of Teedle's favorite songs, I could tell that he was also falling in love. After a beautiful message by Pastor Dan about "inside out religion" (can be found here), we were sold. To top it ALL off, the church was experimenting with a "meet the pastors" lunch after the service. Of all days! The day WE visit. Oh, God makes me smile so big. 

He was there! He had planned all of it!

Oh what joy!

Teeds and I stayed to have some Pizza (carrots and chips for me) & chat with our new favorite people. It turns out that the mission of the church is very similar to the church I currently attend. They are ministry focused & care about the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of the people in their community. My social work heart smiled ear-to-ear over this! The best part is, we were only there for a couple of hours & we felt like we were home. We saw the love of Christ moving in the ministry team and their love for Him was absolutely contagious. 

What a beautiful day.

I serve a God who is bigger than worry, fear, and doubt.

He is already moving in WB & I can't wait to see what else He has planned for Teeds and I.

Last Friday, I got THIS in the mail with a sweet message from Pastor Dan and his wife, Joy! 

(Sweet, huh?) 

I am moving.

We are moving.

I am finding community.

xo, Lynn Raye