Brian James

Yesterday we buried someone so important.
Someone that I loved.
My soul brother.
My friend.

When I think back to all of my memories as a child, Brian is there. 
Born six months before me, Brian did everything first. 
He crossed the street, rode a bike, and made friends with everyone while I sat by and waited for his "ok". 
To this day I can hear him, "Lynnie, COME ON! Just cross the street!" 
& When I wouldn't cross, he'd just put me and my dollies on his big wheeler and take me himself. When I moved back to Delaware for High School, Brian forced all of his friends to hang out with me. 

He was the ultimate pal.
Always up for an adventure...
He wasn't scared of anything. 

Everything he did, he did full throttle.
He got married young and laughed when people tried to tell him otherwise. 
He joined the AirForce and traveled to places I've never even heard of. 
He picked on his sisters and I, but defended us to the end. 
When Bree came into the world, he was smitten immediately. 
His mom was his BFF even when it wasn't cool. 
His family was his first priority & his cousins were his favorite people.
He got in touch with his sister, and went on and on about how amazing she was.
He loved everyone. 
He stood up for the little guy.
He didn't fit into any molds or standards that people try to make for us.
He was an artist, poet, athlete, musician, father, brother, friend, and airman all wrapped up into one dude. 
Losing him hurts. 
& I am sad.

In 2005 I wrote a blog post about his birthday party & it ended like this:

"so anyway we get out (of the movie) around 1130
and its snowing
so we skip to the car
arm in arm like bestfriends are supposed too.

then we're
jamming to pink floyd,
thinking about the past...
16 years and hes still my best friend.

from riding on his big wheeler
to riding shot gun in his moms van,
we have come a long way"

Losing him hurts.
& I am sad.

There will be a day when we'll be arm-in-arm,
 skipping around singing praises to God.
Eternity with Christ, and he'll still be my best friend. 
I can't wait.

In the meantime, Brian would want me to live full throttle. 
He'd want me to be the ultimate pal.
He'd want me to be up for every adventure.
He'd want me to be brave.
& I will. 

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